KERRY GODLIMAN: ‘IT’S A RELIEF TO KNOW YOU’RE NOT MAD, YOU’RE PERIMENOPAUSAL’
Kerry Godliman, 51, is a comedian and actor, who has appeared in TV series including Derek, After Life and Bad Move. As a stand up, she has featured on Live at the Apollo, and won the seventh series of Taskmaster in 2017. She currently plays the lead in British crime drama series, Whistable Pearl. She lives in South London with her actor husband Ben Abell, and has two children, Frank, 15, and Elsie, 18.
Here she looks back on the moments that have shaped her, from work, love, family, money, and health.
I do feel lucky in love. I didn’t use to. I think the invention of the mobile phone has been a nice thing for young people for romance and communication. I came of age in the 90s, where waiting for the landline to ring didn’t serve my love life well. One of my first boyfriends ghosted me when I was 16, so I got on the E3 bus from Hanwell in East London to his estate in Greenford to ask: “What is my relationship status? Have we broken up?” I needed confirmation I’d officially been dumped.
I met my husband on a blind date. I’d been single for ages, became mildly aggressive with my friendship group and said: “Come on, one of you must know someone that I could go out with.” He was directing and acting in a fringe play at the White Bear Theater in Kennington in South London and said: “Someone has dropped out. Do you want to take part?” I played his psychiatric nurse. I was 27 and he was 29. When he turned 30, I said: “What’s it like having a girlfriend in her 20s?” I’ve done that joke on the cusp of every decade since.
[When I was pregnant…] After my first massive contraction, my husband said: “Good girl.” After the contraction had passed, I said: “If you ever say ‘good girl’ to me again, I will punch you in the neck.” I really don’t know the secret to a happy marriage. We just really get on, make each other laugh, and have the same values and interests. You take a punt when you’re young and think: “I hope this lasts.” A lot is luck. We had boiled eggs this morning and were still talking crap and making each other laugh.
I’m worried but also excited about empty nest syndrome. It’s double-edged. Frank is 15. Elsie is 18 and is off to drama school, about to endeavor to embark on a similar career path. There’s something thrilling about rearing your kids and thinking: “They’re done. They’re cooked.” But when my phone sends me montages of them being little by the sea, I get sentimental and poleaxed with nostalgia.
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I had an easygoing childhood. I grew up in suburban West London. My dad was – and still is – a violin maker and works in the shed in the garden, listening to the cricket. My mum sold 40s and 50s clothes at a stall on Portobello Road. Even when I was little, I loved the energy of it. I still love that part of London. I can remember the smells, the music – reggae and The Clash – and my mum getting up super-early.
HRT has helped manage my anxiety. I didn’t even know about perimenopause until a mate told me to look into it. Until Davina McCall did a documentary on it [in Channel 4’s 2021 Sex, Myths and the Menopause], none of us really knew. Then it was suddenly very real. I talk about the menopause in my stand-up show because for a lot of people, the menopause just sounds like a middle-aged woman banging on. But it’s an enormous relief to discover that you aren’t going mad – you’ve just hit the perimenopause. HRT has helped everything calm down and click. I wish I could go back in time and give my mum some.
I’ve been told to start doing weights by all the midlife gurus. I’ll go down the gym, play music and zone out. I also find yoga is good for your brain as well as your body. I went on a retreat and one of the other women said: “I like the physical stuff, but I don’t like all the woo woo” – all the chanting, meditation, and spiritual stuff. I thought: “The woo woo is key for me.”
Working with Ricky Gervais was like getting a promotion. The arts is such an arbitrary chaotic industry. I used to be a club comic and a jobbing actor. But after working with Ricky on Derek and After Life, my profile went up a bit, so I could be a touring comic and I got nicer parts.
I went to Latitude festival with one of my oldest mates, and I think she was a bit surprised by people coming up to me, asking for selfies. She was like: “Why are they doing this?” I was like: “ Because I’m on telly.” That’s the lovely thing about old mates. They don’t give a shit about things like that, do they? Seeing it through her eyes made me think people wanting a selfie is a bit odd. If you’re young, you just can normalise it. But as fame has come later in my career, it feels freakish and odd.
I’m so excited to be in the new Spinal Tap film. I play their manager [Ian Faith]’s daughter, because he [Tony Hendra] is the only original cast member that’s not still alive. Everyone else is in it. I did a film called Mascots with Christopher Guest about 10 years ago. Then I got an email out of the blue saying: would I be interested in being in The Spinal Tap sequel? I thought it was a wind-up. My husband always used to say: you sound like [Spinal Tap character] Nigel Tufnel. I don’t sound like Nigel Tufnel. Nigel Tufnel sounds like me!
I’m very suspicious of consumerism. I’ve never been materialistic. It all just looks like landfill to me. We just had a big clear out and I thought: I remember buying all that stuff for Christmas and now it’s just going down the dump. Then I see viral clips of it all washing up on an African shoreline. Unfettered consumerism is so vulgar, and the ruination of us.
I still get a kick out of stand-up. There’s been phases where I think: “Maybe I’ll knock it on the head now.” But I don’t want to. I love the immediacy. With acting, the lovely thing is being part of a collaborative team. For a long time, they competed against each other. Now I’m finally in my 50s, enjoying both.
Whitstable Pearl Series 3 and Series 1-3 Box Set are available from Acorn Media International
2025-10-01T12:07:01Z